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chaptertwo

withtheshammonasintheeveningofthisday

theycaughtupwiththeacseticsstheskinnyshaminers

andofferedthemtheircompanionshipandobedience

theywereacceptedsadathurgavehisgarmentstoapoorbramaninthestreet

heworenothingmorethanthelayingclothandtheearthcolouredunsowncloak

heate

ateonlyonceadayandneversomethingcooked

hefastedforfifteendays

hefastedfortwentyeightdays

thefllehwanefromhissizeandcheeks

fevorishdreamsflickeredfromhisenlargeeyes

longnailsgrewslowlyonhisparchedfingersandadryshaggiybeardgrewonhischin

hisglanceturnedtoice

whenheencountedwomen

hismouthtwitchedwithcontempt

whenhewalkedthroughacityofnicelydressedpeople

hesawmerchants

tradingprinces

huntingmourners

waalingfortheirdeadhorls

offeringthemselves

physicianstryingtohelpthesickpriest

determiningthemostsuitableday

proceceedinglovers

lovingmothers

nursingtheirchildren

andallofthiswasnotworthyofonelookfromhiseye

italllied

itallstank

itallstankoflies

itallpretendedtobemeaningfulandjoyfulandbeautiful

anditallwasjustconcealedputerfactiontheworldtastedbitterlifewastortureagoalstoodbeforesidathurasinglegoaltobecomeempty

emptyofthirst

emptyofwishing

emptyofdreams

emptyofjoyandsorrowdeadtohimself

nottobeaself

selfmoretofindtranqualitywithanemptyheartartbeopenenedmmiraclesinselfishthoughts

thatthathisgoalonecesaallofmyselfwasovercomeandhaddied

onceeverydesireandeveryurgewassilentintheheart

thentheultimatepartofmehadtoawaketheinnermostofmybeingwhichisnolongermyself

thegreatsecretsilently

sadarthrexposedhimselftoburningraysofthesun

directlyaboveglowingwithpain

glowingwiththirstandstoodthere

untilheneitherfeltanypain

northstsedanymoresilently

hestoodthereintherainyseason

fromhishair

thewaterwasdrippingoverfreezingshouldersoverfreezinghipsandlegs

andthepenitantstoodthere

untilhecouldnotfeelthecoldinhisshouldersandlegsanymore

untiltheyweresilent

untiltheywerequietsilently

hecoweredinthethornybushesblooddrippedfromtheburningskin

fromfesteringwoundsdrippedpass

andsaiddathurstayed

rigedlystaymomolesslessuntilnobloodfloedanymore

untilnothingstunanymore

untilnothingburnedanymore

cidathursatupright

andlearntobreathesparingly

learntogetalongwithonlyfewbreads

learntostopbreathing

helearnedbeginningwiththebreathtocalmthebeatofhisheart

learntoreducethebeatsofhisheart

untiltheywereonlyafewandalmostnoneinstructedbytheoldestoftheshemananssadathapracticeselfdenial

practicemeditation

accordingtoanewshermanarules

aheronflewoverthebambooforestandsadarthh

acceptedtheheronintohissoul

flewoverforestandmountainswasaheron

eightfishfeltthepangsofaherenshungerspoketheheeronscrookediedaheaksdeath

adeadjacklewaslyingonthesandybankandsadaarhssoulslippedinsidethebodywasthedeadjackelelayonthebanks

gotbloatedstanank

decadewasdismemberedbyhyinners

wasskinnedbyvltuers

andintoaskeletonturnedtodustwasblownacrossthefields

anciddathasoulreturned

haddied

herdecadewasscattereddusthadtastedthegloomytoxicationofthecycle

awaitedinnewthirst

likeahunterinthegap

wherehecouldescapefromthecycle

wheretheendofthecauses

whereaneternitywithoutsufferingbegan

hekilledhissenses

hekilledhismemory

heslippedoutofhisselfintothousandsofotherforms

wasananimal

wascarron

wasstone

waswood

waswater

andawokeeverytimetofindhisoldselfagainsunshineormoonwasitselfagainturnedroundinthecyclefeltthirst

overcamethethirstfeltnewthirst