We’ve cleared out the bedrooms,

Piled the boxes in the boxroom,

Wiped the walls and ceilings, washed the curtains,

Let the light in on this gloom.

My girlfriend’s pitching in

In the bathroom and the kitchen.

Doesn’t mind getting her hands dirty,

She’s pretty too

Downstairs Mr Thomson

Of Tindall, White and Thomson

Is showing round a couple. I hear him say:

“You could knock this wall through”

We’ve left out some pictures

On the wall in the kitchen

Try to create an atmosphere

A world in black and white

All the men in suit and ties

That’s what they did around here

I remember Mr Thomson

I was friends with his youngest son

He used to play 'Desperado' by the Eagles

And smoke small cigars

It’s a small world we live in

We might as well give him

The chance to sell this old house

Before it falls apart

Take it from me

it’s a prime opportunity

To do what you want to do

If you knock it through

I can hear him whispering

To the couple in the kitchen

I’m imagining his next line

It’s a steal and it’s a bargain

They’ve dropped it twenty thousand

To let it go for that would be a crime

I pick up a picture

Of my mum and dad together

My girlfriend puts her hand on mine

I think I might propose to her

When this is all over

Give it just a bit more time

Downstairs Mr Thomson

Of Tindall, White and Thomson

Is banging on about hardstanding

And parking out the front

Carports and extensions

And a room for the children

It’s a pebbledashed box with a garden, Mr Thomson

And that’s what they want

Buy a bath made for two

Turn the loft into a bedroom

Do whatever you have to do

To make it new

You can knock it through